Petey, Petey, Petey

Petey-O, Petey-O, where for art thou Petey-O? Oh yeah, New-Fucking-York! Petey, you should have taken the high road. You just couldn't let it go, could you? You just had to be a douchebag about it. You just signed a 50+ million dollar contract and you couldn't go out quietly. You could have just said "I would like to thank the Boston Red Sox and their fans for supporting me these last 7 years. They will always be a part of me and a fond memory of my career". Then you should have giggled (you probably skipped....you homo) like the schoolgirl that you are all the way to the bank with your signing bonus. Instead of that we get comments like "Still, with an off year, I'm way over Schilling as a pitcher" and "I didn't leave because of the money. I left because of lack of respect and effort to get me". Jeez, where do I start with this one? If he is "over Schilling on an off year" then why did Pedro have a higher ERA, less wins and more losses last year than Schilling? That doesn't sound better to me. Call me crazy, but I think that Pedro leaving had something to do with a wee-bit of jealousy towards Schilling. He wasn't the undisputed #1 pitcher last year for the first time in 8 years (one w/Montreal) and it absolutely KILLED him. He acts just like a woman and we all know that they need reassurances every chance that they get. Are you with me guys?....Guys? Seriously. Are you there? (insert cricket noises here)

I do want to keep this fairly short so I won't go into everything that he rambled on about. There are so many other priceless nuggets of pettiness, contradictions and downright bitterness in a interview that he held with full-Pedro-body-massage-specialist Michael Silverman( he always wrote glowing words about Pedro, even when he was being a prima-donna) of the Boston Herald. You can read that here. It is a must read if you would like a perfect example of a spoiled, pampered athlete. My point is that if he didn't get the contract that he would have liked from Boston, that's fine. Take your millions upon millions and move on. That's your right in this wonderful country of ours. Pedro, you do need to remember that you are in the United States of America and not the Dominican Republic where your latest contract would equal the GNP for 3 years. During your stay in Boston you got what you wanted ($) and we got what we wanted (wins). You earned every cent that you got and gave us 7 years that were amazing....three in particular. I noticed that you didn't complain at all when we signed you to a blockbuster, and unprecendented, contract immediately after trading for you 7 years ago without ever seing you throw a pitch in a Red Sox uniform. You couldn't sign fast enough. You went on to make more money last year than any pitcher in baseball history! 17.5 million dollars baby! It reminds me of Ty Law who has been bitching about his contract. He has made more money in the last 5 years than ANY OTHER CORNERBACK IN THE HISTORY OF THE NFL! Maybe you two can go out to dinner some time....my treat, of course. But that is another rant for another time.

God, I hate ungrateful fucks like that. Here I am laid up with back problems while my wife and I have to decide week-to-week what bill will be paid and what one won't. These guys forget about more $ in a month than I will see in the next 5 years. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame them for getting all the money that they can but they definitely need a reality slap every now and then and I am here offering up my services. Maybe not to Ty Law. He's a crazy bastard.

ps- yes, my grapes ARE a bit sour, thanks for asking

Ok, that'll be all of my preaching....for now.

On an aside...

I just saw the new "Greatest invention of all time". It is a lid that seals like a tupperware top but it will stretch to fit any size bowl. It also has other capabilities. It can go from the fridge to the microwave to the dishwasher without ever leaking and/or cracking. All my problems are solved.

Good god. I just read back those last couple of sentences. What the hell has happened to me? I just became excited about tupperware! I am so damn pathetic. Someone shoot me....PLEASE?
PLEASE?!?