Monday, January 16, 2006

Good times

Well, its another cold morning here in NH (9 degrees) and I am awaiting the first of 6 or 7 Dr's appointments this week.

Why so many you ask? (I know no one asked, or cares, but I'm gonna tell you anyways so shut up) I get to have the pleasure of having more back surgery.

Woohoo.

The first back surgery that I had was relatively minor in nature compared to this upcoming clusterfuck. All they did was go in and trim a little of this, cut a little of that, and find the various pieces of my disc that had shattered.

This time they are going to need a few power tools to get the job done.

A quick aside... you'd think that they would use some sort of special medical-quality type drill to do it. But no, they have a regular old Dewalt cordless drill just like the one I use to build shit with. I don't know if one should be a bit worried when you are just starting to fall asleep from the anesthesia and you hear "Hey, where the hell is my 1/2 drill bit? I just got it yesterday at Sears."

Anyways, what they are going to do to me first is to hack me open and start prying shit apart. Yup, thats the exact words that the doc used.... "pry your spine apart."

That doesn't sound like it's a good thing for me, now does it?

The reason that they have to do that is because my disc has completely collapsed and they need to remove it. They'll get right in there and pry my spine apart so they can take out whats left of the ruined disc and replace it with a bone plug. Oh yeah, that "bone plug" is a chunk of bone that they will get by sawing it from my hip.

Good times.

You'd think that would be enough, but nope. There's more.

Also, they will be putting in some sort of titanium cage that'll keep everything in there together and contained.

Then there is a disc fusion that has to be done as well. I'm not sure if that was part of the whole "pry and plug" aspect that I talked about earlier. I'll find out on Wednesday when the surgery will be explained to me in more detail.

So, now it's off for a physical to see if I'm "surgery ready" or some shit like that. Then it's off to give blood (twice) so we'll have some on standby "just in case", as they say.

I don't know, anything that requires you giving up a couple pints of the ole "life juice" ahead of time can't be a good thing.

That's about it for now.... more later.

- Cod

12 Comments:

At 8:19 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

Just walk it off, ya big wimp.

 
At 10:22 PM, Blogger Allyon said...

Oh, God. The stress. Someone should have told me when I gave birth to these chirren that it would never be over!

 
At 10:58 PM, Blogger Erin Nicole said...

hey, i care :)

if you are rendered incapacitated i will have no one to keep me sane when i start going nutzoid!

 
At 9:33 AM, Blogger Jeff said...

titanium? cool. 'They have the technology, they can rebuild him.'

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

The Cod God should change his name to "The Six Thousand Dollar Man."

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Are you going to finally get that penile implant you've wanted done at the same time?

 
At 11:03 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

The Wheelgun's been waiting to give someone, anyone, a penile implant for some time.
Codder, better post a guard outside your hospital room.

 
At 2:10 AM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Not to worry. The Codder will be fucked enough as it is.

 
At 5:06 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

Indeed I do not envy the man. Not at all.
But maybe it will make for good blog fodder.

 
At 1:14 AM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Hey, Codr, can I scrub up and do a running blog during the operation? I'll let you do one when I have my knee done.

 
At 12:11 PM, Blogger The Cod God said...

Sure, if your girly knees can take standing there for the 5-6 hours that it's gonna take.

Make sure to bring some whiskey to keep you "sterile".

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

I will bathe in whiskey before hand. As for my "girly knees", they do look good in stockings.

 

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