Playoff Time

I need to begin this with full disclosure. I have been a Patriots fan all of my 30 years. I rooted for them before we were the first team ever to win three straight on the road in the playoffs to make the Superbowl (1985). I rooted for them when I went to the game that featured the smallest crowd ever ( '92?...it was so cold, I think that I dun gitted dain bramage). I was there when we almost won it with Bledsoe, Curtis Martin and the "Snake", er, I mean"Tuna". I was there when Pete Carroll took a SuperBowl team and destroyed it in 3 short years with a major assist from Bobby Grier. Let's just sum it up by saying that I am not the scummiest of scum....the bandwagon jumper.

So in following, my beloved Patriots made it to the playoffs yet again. Without a doubt, they are the team to beat. Not only in the AFC but in the whole damn No Fun League. Screw all of you Pittsburgh fans. You crybabies are continually (is that word too big for you to understand?) the kings of the regular season along with your homo neighbors, the Philadelphia Eagles. Maybe you all drink from the same state reservoir of suckdom? Dumbass Pitt fans say "Yeah but we beat you and Philly this year" ...blah-blah-fucking-blah. Let me know when you morons get your faces out of the trough full of scrapple and win a superbowl. Do you realize that you (still) have a gap-toothed moron from Louisiana (Terry Bradshaw) as the face of your organization? He was in Cannonball Run for chrissakes. If he is what you would like your team to be represented by, than so be it. I just didn't realize that Pennsylvania was inhabited by total, and complete, idiots. It's supposed to be the epicenter of this country's history! Hell, a Pittsburgh fan probably dropped the Liberty Bell.

The NFC as a whole should be DQ'ed, minus Philly, for being an embarrassment to all football fans across the country. I mean c'mon! An 8-8 record gets you in the playoffs? Pure shit. As long as we are on the subject of Philly, let me know when you guys get down off of the bridge and realize that the end is not tomorrow. Hell, you haven't even lost the NFC title game..... again.... yet. Guys, I relate. I was born a Red Sox fan. If they can win it all, you guys can too. In fact, I'll be rooting for you if the Patriots get knocked out (an absurd notion, I know) before the Superbowl. Either way, you're doomed. Hey there is always next year. Us Red Sox fans just let our trademark rights expire on that saying. Maybe you guys (and mustachioed women) can get Jaws back. I hear that he has been getting in shape.

On a somber note, Grandma Cod is on her way to the deep water ledge in the sky. Swim in peace.

- Colin