Friday, February 11, 2005

Random Stuff

How do you lose a package from Russia with radioactive material in it? You would think that there would be measures to prohibit that kind of thing.

That's exactly what happened 4 months ago and Halliburton (them again) just recently saw fit to mention it to someone. Luckily, it was found a couple of days ago tucked away in some warehouse down near Boston safe and sound, but still. That could have definitely ruined someone's day if the wrong people got ahold of that.

-----------------------

The Red Sox equipment van left for Florida today. Yeehaw!

I can't wait to see the looks on those Yankee pricks faces when we receive our rings while they look on from the other dugout. The schedule god was good to us. Fenway will be rockin' that day!

Speaking of Yankee pricks, what the hell did Jason Giambi think that he accomplishing yesterday when he called his little press conference? Yeah, call a press conference and never once mention the reason that you felt the need to call it in the first place. We all know that you admitted to taking steroids so why not call it something besides "a distraction"? He should have just shown up and said "Hi, I'm Dumbass Giambi. I'm sorry for all the 'distractions' that I may have caused. Good bye" because that is what he said in a nutshell. But somehow it managed to take that shit-for-brains 45 minutes to convey it.

What a douchebag.

--------------------------

How about that couple that threw a one hour old baby from a moving car into a median? Talk about the scum-of-the-earth. If I saw that happen I would have grabbed the baby, then run the "parents" off the road and beat them with a tire iron.

**update**
2:15 pm EST

They just caught the nasty skank that mothered this child. Come to find out, the baby had a plastic bag wrapped around its head.

I can't express how much that this upsets me.

Personally, I would like to wrap a 2x4 around her head 36 times, stomp her corpse and then piss on it...but thats just me.

How can you do that to an innocent child? It still had it's umbilical, for chrissakes!

Thousands, maybe millions, of people would KILL to be able to have children and some crack-whore does shit like this. If you don't want the child at least put it up for adoption you GoddamnSkankyDouchebagWhoreBitch-see-you-next-tuesday.

(the 'see-you etc'. was for the benefit of momma-cod)

**update #2**
3:04 EST

Well, according to the latest report, no baby ever got thrown anwywhere. The weirdo mother gave birth, brought it in and came up with the story.

If that is true, no hard feelings, right psycho-chick?


--------------------------

The wife visciously assaulted me last night. I'm physically and emotionally scarred for life.

I need to look into one of those "Battered Husbands" support groups.

-------------------------

Some fuckstick died after the cops nailed him with a stungun yesterday in Chicago and I say "So what?!?"

The asshole was attacking the officers and threatening to kill them. They were well within their rights to shoot him, much less use a taser. Now some bleeding-heart-tree-sodomizing-hippie-pricks will be all over the cops for doing their job.

I can hear it already....

He was such a nice man.

He never deserved this.

He once pet a cat.

I saw him plant a tree.

Well, you know what?....TOO FUCKING BAD!!! He shouldn't have been doing what he was doing. You fuck around with "The Man" and "The Man" is gonna getcha. It would be like if I was poking a dog repeatedly with a sharp stick and then it mauled me. It isn't the dogs fault, it's mine for screwing with him. It's not like the cops were cruising around and said "Hey, there is some dude walking down the road. Let's to taser his ass so he goes into cardiac arrest!"

I'm just saying....

-------------------------

I just saw this headline- SMALL QUAKE RATTLES ARKANSAS

....and all 6 teeth

-------------------------

Jeff Bagwell's (of the Houston Astros) ex-wife just auctioned her cleavage as advertising space and made fifteen grand. I have never seen her but I bet that my gut is bigger than her boobs. At that rate I should be able to get $50,000 no problem.

-------------------------

Alaska just had the largest oil spill since the Exxon Valdez decimated that area. Now, it said in the article that the ship ran aground after it drifted for two days after the engines died. TWO DAYS!!! Do they not have a boat that could have maybe, oh I don't know, TOWED IT AWAY FROM THE REEF?!?!??

Fuckin' a, some people are just too fucking stupid to be allowed to live. I swear, there should some kind of IQ test that is administered before they would be allowed to procreate. Hey, you have to pass a test to do almost everything else, so why not do it for that? After the test there could be two doors. One on the right that goes back out to the street and one on the left that leads directly into an operating room where you would get sterilized....immediately!

I'd be for it.

------------------------


I heard that Nomar is going to be one of the names named in Jose Mom-Didn't-Hug-Me-Enough Canseco's new book. I have to say that I always thought that he was doing something, but I didn't want to admit it. You don't go from 145 in college to 190 pounds of pure muscle in a few years without something funky going on. But now that he is on another team....kick his ass out! Actually, let those idiots inject each other all they want. It's their bodies. I don't give a fuck. I can't afford to go to the games anymore anyways.

-----------------------

Does anyone care if that ugly-somebitch Prince Charles wants to marry a woman that looks like Seabiscuit? I sure as hell don't but yet it is everywhere that you look.

Must have been a slow news day yesterday.

-----------------------

Bill Clinton came out with this pearl of wisdom the other day..

"I think that the Democrats can win the next election"

I don't know if I agree but I'm giving them a 50-50 shot.




4 Comments:

At 1:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

See, you don't need to worry about running out of destructive drunken tales from your past...current events will always give you enough fuel to write!

-Danny

p.s. I have video footage of my friends on tour and using a taser on their no-no-sack. I'll put that on the tape of the wrestling stuff I promised B-Face about 6 years ago that I'll send to you next week.

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger The Cod God said...

oh man, that can not be good

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger The Cod God said...

4'11''?

around the waist, maybe


I'm not getting laid for a loooong time after that comment

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger The Cod God said...

I don't know what you are talking about, sir.

ps- she saw it and laughed, my chick rules

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

Blog Directory & Search engine