Monday, September 12, 2005

Whaaa? part 2

A few days ago after compiling a few of the more odd searches that led some of you wackos my way, I figured that I was in the clear for a while before I would have to do it again.


So, without further ado, here you go... you pervs.


Our first search was a bit different. It was "Jason Varitek + hookers".

Now, each one by itself I can see. But combining the two together makes you think. Was it just some wacko that fantasises about the two of them together? Or maybe it was an angry Mrs. Varitek looking for anything to get him on. And if that is the case... Jason, I'm all yours. Call me. 1-800-Tek-Love

Our next category is a from the few "innocent and obvious why it matched" category. One is for the "cod world record" and another is for "blue hake pictures". I don't have the first, but the second one is kicking around here somewhere and it's a nice picture, as far as hake pictures go. They are ugly, slimy fish. (Soooo many jokes can go right here)

Although, one kinda weird search was "rare fish heads". Now, what in the hell would you want to do once you found some? Do you mount them over the fireplace like a deer? I don't know, maybe Barnes and Barnes are making a comeback. Maybe it's for a rare soup? If you still out there rare fish head searcher guy, let me know.

Next up is the strange/perverted category, or more commonly known as "my people".

First was a search for "Cop Cock". Now, I don't know if I am more weirded out that someone searched for that or that the search linked to me. Either way, no thank you. But, I could hook you up with the Codfather. He put in his years as a cop and I'm assuming that he is swinging a schlong. He may not have seen it for a while but if he has, I guess that it would fall in the category of "retired cop cock". Not that it matters, right Wheel Gun?

Anyways, our next contestant for "weird search of the week" was "football players + enemas. Hmmm, not sure what to make of that one. Is it someone looking to give one to a football player? Maybe it's the new thing to do. All the cool kids are doing it, don't you know. I know that I am. Been doing it for years and I love it! Wait, was that my outside voice again? I hope that no one heard me. Back to the story...

This next one will make Wheel Gun proud. The search was for "pimping ain't easy". Fucking-A right it isn't! I gots to keep my ho's in check, yo. Listen G, you cain't let da bitches be all up in your grill, homey. You gots to slap dem hoes back in check once in a while, B. Word. (you taught me well, Bob)

Now, our award winner for strangest search goes to the magnificent bastard that searched for "smokey cock -robinson -wilson -bandit". I don't even know where to start on that one. Maybe it's a new BBQ sauce. They do have some strange names nowadays. Any ideas, anyone?

Well, those are my people. My twisted, twisted people.

I feel like a new father every time that I see another bizarre search taht leads to me. Thanks Yahoo!

- Cod


At 9:28 PM, Blogger Missy said...

Twisted, twisted peoples hot sauce!

I think I better get that copyrighted.

Thanks Honey...

WheelGun can you come up with the recipe???


At 10:34 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

It will have a special ingredient.

At 8:32 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

Barnes and Barnes! Unsurprisingly, to those who know him, Dave "Stuttgart" Velats's favorite band, or at least one of them. Billy Mumy, of Lost in Space and Twilight Zone fame, was one half of that project. Bill Paxton directed the video, he's done some cool shit. He was a gung-ho marine that eventually freaked out in Aliens, and played a badass in the best vampire movie ever made, called Near Dark. Featuring the Cramps on the soundtrack. Somehow this will lead us to Kevin Bacon, let me keep thinking here...

Anyway for hot sauce, this "Demon Ichor" looks interesting, but I'll be damned if I ever try it (no pun intended). Here's a link:

Click on "Demon Ichor." It looks worse than pepper spray.

At 9:34 AM, Blogger The Cod God said...

I just don't see how using any of that crap in real food would be in any way enjoyable.

A lot of them actually need warning labels on them now and some can't even touch your skin or you will get a nice burn. Can you imagine some of that being rubbed under your eyes?


At 10:05 AM, Blogger B-Face said...

I love how they suggest using it in salad dressing. Yeah, I'll get right on that.


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