Another example of stupidity

Geez, there are so many that I don't know where to start. Let's see...

Ok, here is one that recently Bface reminded me of. I had successfully buried it in the back of my subconscious after years and years of shock-therapy, but oh well. How bad could it be to go back on Lithium, right? I suffer for my art...

I used to live right at the beach in Hampton. We were close enough so the only thing separating my house from the ocean was the boulevard. We had the whole 2nd floor of the house and the entire front of it was big windows that let you see the entire ocean. Not to mention being able to look down at certain "vaginal americans" as they went by. The house had its charms, to say the least.

Well, since it was at the beach there weren't too many people around in the winter. In fact, the houses on either side of us were empty from September-April. Without anyone around or anything to look at it got to be quite boring.

Well, as I was sitting there one day bored (yet again) I figured that I would spice things up by breaking out the old BB gun. Just for some wholesome family fun, mind you. Nothing bad was supposed to take place.

Well, after taking some pot shots at a few psychotic Starlings, I was quite bored. Then with all the clarity of thought that a 16 year old possesses, I realized that there was a much more fun (and satisfying) target to aim for.

The windows in the house next door.

I mean, afterall, they weren't home. Hell, they wouldn't be there for another few months. Anyone could have come by and shot the windows out, right?

My 16yr old logic as it was happening...

I couldn't possibly hit that small basement window from here.

Wow! What a shot!

I should stop now. This is wrong.

Oh, look! That one has a small crack in it.

I better shoot it out so they make sure to fix it. I wouldn't want it to break at the wrong time and hurt passing children or baby kittens.

These look old anyways. I'm probably doing them a favor.

Well, I can't just break a couple and leave those other ones in. They wouldn't match.

Good. I safely removed all of the broken glass out of the frames for them. I won't even charge them for this because I'm such a nice neighbor.

I wonder if those big storm windows are up to code?


And so on and so on.

This whole thing went on over the course of the winter. A few shots here, a few shots there when I was bored.

Then one day I came home and there they were....the neighbors. They didn't even wave to me or say hello. And after all of the wonderful things that I had done for them out of the goodness of my heart.

Snobs!

Of course, with all of my teenage awareness I didn't even realize what they could have been so mad about. I had lost interest in that house a while back after there were no more windows left unscathed. I had moved on to bigger and better things....like streetlights. Of course starting with the one right outside my window. But, that's another story.

Anyway, the neighbors didn't say anything to me about it and I thought that was that until one day my Dad wanted to talk to me....

Dad- Have a little fun with your BB gun?

Me- (thinking it was about the streetlight) what are you talking about? I haven't shot at any street lights

Dad- street lights?

Me-um....forget it.....are we watching the hockey game tonight?

Dad- nice try, the neighbors have several broken windows

Me-which neighbors?

Dad-the ones across the street from your window

Me- It must have been that Andy punk out back. He's a wily looking one and he's always trying to get me into trouble.

Dad- He's 5 years old

Me- maybe someone threw rocks at them

Dad- the neighbors have a cup full of BB's that they got out of their living room

Me- Someone could have done it while they were driving around. You know how it is with these working parents nowadays...never around to supervise their little hoodlums

Dad- the shots came from above the window(s) and the only thing up that high is your bedroom

Me- maybe it was a fly-by?

Dad- just pay for the damn things, ok?

It ended up costing me about $175, if I remember correctly. Not too bad for a winter's worth of entertainment, if you ask me.