Little Known Facts

To totally rip-off my buddy Duke Crevanator, I'll fill you little minions on a few unknown (to some) facts about me....


I met my wife when I was 16 after her friends Porsche broke down across the street where I was drinking. She "dated" a friend of mine first. Don't let the Porsche thing fool you, we're broke.

I have three kids and they all suck! Nah, just kidding. We have two boys, one girl. My boys are 12 and 7. My daughter is just about 5. Mark my words, she will rule the world someday and you'd better get on her good side now.

I once made $5400.00 in one day of commercial fishing.

I also once made negative money one day while commercial fishing.

I stand @ 5'11" and a rippling 205lbs....I didn't say rippling with what.

A little advice....if you can get a chick and/or a guy that digs you for you, stick with them. There are a lot of psychos out there. Trust me. It's a good thing that "my boys" swam straight 13 years ago.

I have spent over a month (total) of my life in a hospital with various ailments. That may not seem like much until you actually have to do it. The only redeeming quality about my stay(s) is that it introduced me to opiates in all their various forms.

I have never had a (serious) job that didn't involve a creature that lived in the sea and the harvesting of said creature. Go ahead, call PETA; I'll shoot their asses. Don't worry; I won’t be using lead bullets, that would damage the environment and that would be wrong. Some retarded Loon could eat it and we wouldn’t want that. I'll use copper-jacketed bullets instead. Hey, I’m good like that. Environment is my middle name.

Speaking of morons like that....why don't you ask PETA or the Sierra Club how many acres of marshland that they have preserved during their existence and compare it to what Ducks Unlimited (notice the .org you hippie bastards) has done? It won't even be close. Fisherman and Hunters preserve more animal life every year than any little "hippie club" has ever done. I really think that we should have an open hunting season on hippies. There is no use for them...they smell.

Yeah, yeah, I'm digressing....

I own several thousand baseball cards and they are worth a lot of $$. Unfortunately the value went down after going to the hospital for a dislocated shoulder. Thanks Mrs. Cod.

Some of my favorite bands include Iron Maiden, Dire Straits, The Queers with the only lineup that ever mattered...Joe, Hugh (rest in peace), and Bface, The Animals, The Tunnel Rats, The Groovie Ghoulies, and Van Halen. Yes, an eclectic bunch...to say the least. That's not including my N.W.A./EZ-E and Tupac stuff. Johnny Cash could be thrown in there as well. To quote my buddy Billy " I like anything that doesn't suck."

I once went over 50 hours working non-stop on the boat as we caught over 30,000 lbs in two days. Half of it was Mackerel. A big one is 12". Yeah, yeah (insert joke here).

We once had Grant Jennings, who was a pro hockey player, on the boat a month after he knocked Cam Neely out of the playoffs. Being a HUGE hockey fan at the time, I was ready to give him shit until I saw the size of him. I'll tell one thing, he was one big motherfucker. I wasn't quite so tough after I saw him.

There was one thing about him that I would LOVE to pass along. He was quite irritated with the Puerto Rican family next to him. I'm not sure why, but I'm just sayin'....

I own 3 12-gauge shotguns. One Benelli, one Remington and the first one that I was ever given by Daddy-Cod....my Winchester 1300.

I also own two .22 rifles... this is one of them and the best part about it is that the wife gave it to me. There is another greatest gift of all time....my Glock .40 caliber semi-auto handgun.

I also own one 3X9 (variable) scoped .30-06 rifle , one .38 special revolver, a .50 caliber muzzleloader, one Beeman spring-piston pellet gun and a couple of other BB-guns. Make your own conclusions. That doesn't even include the spudgun or the stuff that I blow up on a regular basis.

Warren Zevon wrote"The Wind" while he was dying from cancer and wacked out on liquid morphine. I don't care of you like his music or not, that is an amazing feat.