Wednesday, September 28, 2005

These are my people

*This will replace the former entries that were listed under the title "whaa?". It will be a collection of various web searches that led someone (or something in a few cases) to my blog.

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Well, since my last entry I've had a few more of you stumble onto my little blog here from various corners of the internet. How the hell the search engines made the connection to my blog in several instances, I'll never know.

First up... the sports related ones.

We twice had a PeytonManningsucks.com search that led to me. I'm especially proud of that one. Until he beats my beloved Patriots, he blows. Get over it, hayseeds. Tom Brady is the better quarterback and if I had a thing, just one little bitty thing, to do with convincing just one person that Peyton Manning does suck (.com), then this has all been worth it. (sniff)

Another in the sports related area was a search for Charlie Brown football stats. While I'm not positive that anyone did keep such stats, I think it would be safe to say that they sucked. I don't know about you, but I would have punted that douchebag Lucy instead. What a pushover. You know, he always reminded me a little bit of Wheel Gun, for some reason.

To wrap up the sports related searches, we have the 1985 Superbowl (HELL-no comment) and TomBradySucks.com. The latter being a totally unprovoked attack on Tom's character (a must read) by some delusional Peyton Manning lackey.

Now, onto the better ones...

Now, this next one we can attribute to one Captain Leech. You may only know him as the dude who likes unconventional sex with many gravity-challenged woman, but I know him as the only man that could get a band banned for life from The Rat in Boston, Mass... or so the story goes. Anyways, he snared me a match by offering me some friendly advice. He offered up that I should change my name to "The Cock-Sucking God Swallowith." As tempting as the name change was, I chose to keep my original name. It would break the Codmother's heart.

The actual search was for "cock suckin' boys". Obviously, a derelict of Bface-like proportions is among us. Certainly not the type of person that I cater to with my wholesome, family oriented programming. (dodging the lightning bolt)

Ahh, this next one is my favorite search of the week... "Older ladies showing their grey(sic) pussies blogs".

Wow.

So many ways to jump into this one, I don't know where to start.

Well, let's start with WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO SEE THAT?!?!? Not only that, but why would there be a blog about it? Wouldn't it be easier to just search around on some porn pages? Also, why would you click on my blog to find that anyways? I mean, didn't you see my name attached to it? I understand that while I am a big pussy, I'm not gray... yet. And, I haven't written about it, so there. I wish I still had the link to what entry matched the criteria.

Man, I've heard of fetishes, but... yeesh!

Also in the world of adult-oriented searches we have the ever-present search for "facts on vaginas". While I'd like to think that I know a thing or two about the opposite sex and their plumbing (the Cod Gal is heard snickering in the background), I'm no expert and I generally don't claim to be... either by typed or spoken word. So, that's all I have to say about that.

If anything, that search gives me a chance to link to an old entry that I happen to like a bit more than the others. Here it is in all it's glory...(sounds familiar) Women Facts.

Another one of the fetish-type ones was a search for "ugliest black asses"....um, Next!

We had yet another search for "Cop Cock" that linked to my "Smokey and The Cock" entry. That makes it around 10 times, now. Maybe it's something about the uniform... I don't know. I'll have to ask The Codfather about it.

I just realized that most of these searches are either for things of a sports-related nature or something about getting laid in less than traditional ways. That either says something about me, or people that cruise the web. Probably a little of both.

Oh yeah, here is another good one... "The Maury Povich midget". First off, I didn't even know that he had a midget now. Second, how the hell did it come to me? I must have mentioned them both in one entry or another, but I can't seem to find out which one it was. I need to start saving the links when I get them. And to think, Maury was once a well respected journalist on CNN. How the mighty have fallen.

Anyways, a few more searches that linked to me were "Pam Smart", for obvious reasons. A "double kickstand" for my story about Derek and his out of control moped (scroll down when you get there).

A few other searches were for a boat called "The Codfather". Then there was "a dude jumping out of a window during 9/11" which was odd. It goes to show you how well the search engines key in on certain words because I sure as shit haven't ever written about that day. I was stuck in the middle of the ocean not knowing what exactly to do. It kinda sucked not knowing what exactly was going on, but that's another story for another time.

I'll leave you with this last search that landed some poor, unsuspecting soul on my twisted blog. "What does Yamada mean?"

- Cod




4 Comments:

At 11:19 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

I'm just so fucking glad no one ever stumbles upon my blog. You don't know how many people say to me "Bob you must do a blog" and I say "No way - blogging is gay" Even my roomates don't know about it. And no body at work knows since I would be fired on the spot if they did - company policy. My probation officer sure as hell don't know about it. But this whole search scenario is making me nervous. I can't image why anybody would link to my blog but you never know. I might just shut it down. Lucky you...

 
At 12:45 AM, Blogger B-Face said...

"Charlie Brown football stats... What a pushover. You know, he always reminded me a little bit of Wheel Gun, for some reason."

Wheel Gun Bob's last words are going to be "AAAAAUUUGH!!!!!!!!!",

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger The Cod God said...

It would be so horrible if someone went to your blog (http://wheelgunbob.blogspot.com/).

I don't know why anyone would ever want to go your blog (http://wheelgunbob.blogspot.com/.

Your blog (http://wheelgunbob.blogspot.com/) is terrible.

I hate your blog (http://wheelgunbob.blogspot.com/).

 
At 9:15 AM, Blogger The Cod God said...

"Charlie Brown football stats... What a pushover. You know, he always reminded me a little bit of Wheel Gun, for some reason."

That wasn't a shot at Wheel Gun. It just looks that way.

 

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