Tuesday, March 21, 2006

There is no God

First Willie, now this!

You know, it's not like Little V was looking for $10 million.

He is signing for $2.5 a year with a $3.5 million signing bonus. Hell, that's a tight end or a backup running back.

Not exactly breaking the bank, especially when you factor in the extra money added to the salary cap this year.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

It's all my fault too.

You see, for years I refused to get a jersey of any player that I liked because the first couple that I got when I was a kid led to the players leaving town in short order.

I didn't want to doom him.

That was, until this last Christmas.

The Cod Gal and all my little heathens have wanted to get me a Vinatieri jersey for some time now, but I had always refused opting for other gifts. This year I finally relented.

My thinking was that they would never let an icon like Little V go. After 10 years and the 3 or 4 greatest kicks of all time he should have been safe.

Yeah, I nailed that one on the head.

Fuck.

- Cod

ps- I think it's a safe bet that I won't be getting a Big V (Jason Varitek) jersey for my birthday

Money, Money, Mo-ney!!

Well, I'm not quite the $6 million dollar man. I'm more like the $82,000 man.

(Actually, if you figure in the first surgery, I'm around $115,000)

------------------------

As you have probably figured, I received the bill for my latest back surgery.

$82, 425.71.

Not bad for a few days in the hospital.

Here is a little bit of the breakdown...

$39,207.69 for "surgical supply"... whatever that is.

I'm assuming that it was for the surgery itself. That probably includes all of the titanium, stainless steel and whatever else it is that they left/forgot inside of me.

$19,726.74 for the operating room.

Let's see, with me being in there for 7 hours that breaks down to about $2,818.11 an hour. Not bad work if you can get it.

And this part is for all you druggies out there....

$7,499.15 in morphine, demerol, ms contin, narco, flexeril, and methadone. That was for only 3 days.

(And you thought that your habit was pricey)

Next time I'll need to do a few "favors" to keep the price down.

more later....

- Cod

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Not yet

Well, I'm still here. It seems that no matter how many fistfulls of painkillers I gobble, I still snap out of it and awake to another day in paradise.

Yesterday was a particularly good day at the Cod Mansion. Apparently the fruit of my loins decided it would be the proper time to get Daddy-O to consider how much he could garner for each child on the blackmarket.

Better yet! I'll start my own birth control company. Anytime that a new couple considers having a child, they must spend a day with my kids. It's safe to say that the population of this country would take a serious hit.

-----------------------

Well, it's almost time for another appointment with one of the dude's that pieced me back together. Speaking of Doctor Feelgood, he was recently filmed while holding a discourse on the human body, how it is assembled and his experience with it. It's very informative and helps to explain why I am the way I am.

Take a minute, check it out and learn something.

You can check it out for yourself here.

(thanks to Duke Crevanator for discovering and passing along the clip)

- Cod



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