Too funny

I like how they itemized the extra $225,000.

- Cod

one autumn day

It was late in the 4th quarter, the score was 6-3 and Pocket Cod's team was losing.

Pocket Cod's team had the ball on the 1 yard line and it was 4th down. The clock showed that there was only one measely second left.

The crowd was going crazy, but Pocket Cod remained calm. He knew what he had to do. He had to get across that goal line. The goal line that was so close, but so far away.

Pocket Cod had been working for this since he was old enough to play football. He had been dreaming about this moment all of his life.

There he goes. Across the goal line and into the end zone.

He scored.

He scored in the Superbowl to win the game.

THE END

by,

Pocket Cod (with some help from Cod)

Tommy Cool

In four-and-a-half years as an NFL starter, New England quarterback Tom Brady has never lost two games in a row.

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Also, Bill Belichick's father, Steve Belichick, died Saturday night.

How Bill even coached yesterday is beyond me. Although, with Dad having been a coach, I'm sure that's what he would have wanted.

Here is a good article on Dad by the always great Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe.

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There is no way that people can be so stupid that this could possibly work. Well, then again.... American Idol is a hit.

- Cod

Domino!

He had it coming.

- Cod

My Patriots

a few things that were "borrowed" from Peter King's MMQB column...
(a must-read for any true football fan)

STAT OF THE WEEK I

Want to know why the balance of power in the AFC has turned upside down?

Games missed by defensive starters due to injury in 2005:
Indianapolis (9-0): 2
New England (5-4): 31

An Indy asterisk: Joseph Jefferson was slated to start at the safety spot now manned by Mike Doss, but he has been sidelined with a toe injury. I don't count him because Doss was the starter there last year. Jefferson was making the switch from corner to safety, so he was going to be a first-time starter there. The two missed starts are from Montae Reagor, and those hardly hurt because of the Colts strong four-man rotation at defensive tackle.

The Patriots are starting their fifth strong safety, Michael Stone. This figure includes Tedy Bruschi, even though he didn't start the season as a starter. The list: Bruschi 6, Tyrone Poole 8, Rodney Harrison 6, Richard Seymour 4, Guss Scott 4, James Sanders 3.

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I expected a little more out of the Miami running game. Heath Evans (who was cut by Miami October 25th and subsequently picked up by the Patriots) outrushed Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams combined.

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I think the Patriots won a road division game without their starting running back, tight end, left tackle, right tackle, strong safety, right corner and one starting receiver. That's pretty good, I would say. Real good.

Ole Mr. King nails it on the head this week.

- Cod

No, not Michael...

While I would never make light of all the death and destruction that was recently unleashed by some cocksucker suicide bombers in Jordan, it does give me an excuse to link to a picture of Queen Rania.

I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers, if you know what I mean.

(stunning in black)

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Surgery all around!

Let's see, first it was I.

Then the Cod Gal had disc-fusion surgery on her neck a few months ago.

Now, the Codfather.

The Codfather has been fighting a bad back since the blizzard of '78 caused the flood of '78 in my hometown of Hampton, NH.

While he was out being hero #1 (he was a police officer at the time) and rescuing dumb, old bastards that didn't evacuate like they should have, he got picked up by a wave and carried for three blocks where he was then unceremoniuosly dumped, back first.

All I remember, because I was not yet 4 years old, was a knock at the door and when the Codmother answered the door, I heard a loud "Oh my god!"

I immediately hoofed it around the corner to see what was up and there I saw my Dad sort of propped up in the doorway, soaked to the skin, and mumbling something about being hurt. There actually may have been some seaweed draped on him, but I'm sure that's my 4yr old imagination remembering that.

Anyways, the Codfather has always had a bad back. Now it looks like he will going under the knife (again). Hopefully, he has a better result than I had.

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Now, this takes all of the fun out of winter.... for obvious reasons.

There is no need to improve the bra, after the perfection that is the Wonderbra, was created.


- Cod

ps- There is always next year Pats fans

This man for President

I'm starting a write-in campaign for this guy.

He solves the terrorism epidemic with one brilliant idea.

- Cod

ps- thanks to Mr. B for sending this one in

Cam-Fucking-Neely!!

My favorite hockey player of all time, Cam Neely, will be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame tonight.

Cam was a man among men. He would pound the shit out of a couple goons on one shift, then go out and score the prettiest goal that you have ever seen on the next. To this day, I have still not seen another hockey player that has blended the two (toughness and finesse) with such command. Unfortunately, a cheap shot by that cowardly cocksucker Ulf Samuelson, ultimately ended his career.
In the 93-94 season, he became the third fastest player to score 50 goals. He scored his in only 44 games and Cam did it on one leg. He had been playing in every-other game because of a serious leg injury and did he complain? No! He sucked it up, and kicked some ass.

You know what? I'm going to stop. This man deserves his own column and I would do him a grave injustice but doing anything but and I haven't even gotten into his foundation for kids with cancer.

What he did was to buy a home in Boston so he could give the entire family a place to live while the children go through their treatments. That's how he started, it's evolved into much more than that. I urge you to check it out, if you can.

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I saw this on the news this morning and immediately thought of my Uncle Wheelgun. I guess that it's his lucky day.

(uh, I just re-read that... it's a bit disturbing that when lesbian cheerleaders are on the mind, my mind immediately goes to my twisted Uncle... maybe that therapy isn't such a bad idea afterall)

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You know, I've heard people say that they really want/need a drink, but this guy takes it to a completely different level. And then, after all of those miles traveled, he just gives up in front of a liquor store? You're on death row, junior. It's not like you're going to get back out of prison anytime soon in something other than a pine box. At least run down the street, or something. Give a fake name... anything.

It's obvious that he didn't break out of prison to go to a MENSA meeting. That's for sure.

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Well, I hope that Peyton Manning enjoyed his time in the world of the unbeaten, because that is going to change around midnight EST. Hopefully, his buddy Kenny Chesney will be there to give him a hug afterwards because he's gonna need it.

Prediction...
Pats- 31
Mannings- 27

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Speaking of football, did you catch that 60 minutes interview with Tommy Cool last night? Is there anything that he can't do? He even interviews well. I also liked that demonstration on how he and Deion Branch can look at each other and know what play that Tommy Cool is going to run. I'm surprised that they even showed it. You know how paranoid that Belichick can be. You can read a full transcript, or watch it if you'd like, here.

That's it for today.

- Cod

ps- I will put money on the fact that Brady will hold some sort of public office within the next 20 years.

A close call.

Let's all say a collective "Thanks" to everyone involved in the rescue of a friend of mine Thursday night. It sounds like everyone made it off ok, thanks to another stellar effort by our United States Coast Guard.

Unfortunately, it looks like he's going to lose his boat, but thank God (and that's saying a lot for me) that he came home to his wife and kids and I'm very happy for that.

Back to the Coasties for a minute...

These guys get overlooked all the time when people speak of the military, but they are as vital a cog in the defense of this country as any branch.

Yes, a few of them are "Ohio Hero's" and they do have their moments (like the time they had to throw me a line from 20 feet away and it took them 13 tries) , but those bastards sure can fly a chopper and they look awfully good doing it.

Trust me, I've seen it first hand.

- Cod

Glue isn't just for sniffing anymore!

I've been freaked out about some things that have happened while relieving myself, but never for this reason.

--------------------

Now, that's not so bad. It's a prank, albeit a prank that shouldn't have gone as far as it did.

But this one.... this one is just plain wrong!

You just don't glue a man's hot rocks to anything, anywhere. She said that it was part of some sort of love game.

Yeah right!

Call me old fashioned but if the Cod Gal said, "Hey honey, I have an idea to spice up our love life. Let's whip out some SUPER GLUE!!" I'd decline.

Immediately!

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time that a woman has done something atrocious to some poor schmuck's love rocket. They seem to think that it's ok to do that. Um... nope.

I wonder how you women would like it if your significant other popped the tire on the wheelbarrow(s) that you use to lug your boobs around in. That wouldn't be too funny, now would it? You'd probably kill a small child when they came crashing down to earth.

On that note...


- Cod

Aren't sports wonderful?

They offer grown men and women (and A-rod) opportunities when other avenues in life have been shut down. A way out of the gutter, so to speak.

Hell, if you are one of the lucky few that actually get paid to play a child's game for a living, you don't even have to learn how to read.

(Am I the only one that finds it absolutely hilarious that he "outs" his illiteracy in a book? How did he know that they were even writing that? For all he knows, it could have been a shopping list)

This reminds me of the sad tale that is Dexter Manley.

Man, what a player.

What a waste.

- Cod

ps- and that's saying something coming from me and all of my fulfulled potential

I wonder if he had to tag it

I'm going to try and start to post something, at least a link, everyday. Most likely it will be something that I find either amusing and/or disgusting. So, prepare yourself for anything.

If you have any suggestions, email them along to me at thecodgod@comcast.net.

Here is #1....

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This is the way that REAL men do it.

So, obviously I don't subscribe to such a method.


- Cod